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Is it true in order to have your childs last name changed, the other parent has to be served? Im from California, I have full sole/physical custody of my son. Is it really difficult to change his last name even though I have full custody?
Government assistance isn’t enough to live on. It simply means social security disability (if she is eligible for that), which tends to be less than 700$ a month (my rent is 775$ a month), she may get food stamps, which will be enough to provide decent meals for 3 weeks out of the month, so most households eat a limited diet that has very little room for experiments or change. She probably has medical coverage but it won’t cover eyes or dental, it will cover part of any prescriptions, but is also pretty limited. In reality, living on government assistance means you live in literal poverty. I myself live this way & I get more SSD than most, & I’m still living in poverty by all Western standards. And let’s be clear, if you’re in America, child support will be about 17% of your wages, which is both not that much & not enough to really raise a child out of poverty. Not to mention that you still have some responsibilities even of you don’t wish to raise your child. And you should understand that your choice to not raise him AND your arguing about paying some basic child support is going to have lasting effects on your son. He’s going to wonder why you never wanted to raise him, he’s going to internalize that & assume, wrongly, that the fault lies with him instead of, rightly, with you. This is going to affect his mental health, his emotional health, his self esteem, his self worth, & his self image. Unless your mother is an amazing parent, which most are not, he’s going to struggle with this for most of his life until hopefully he gets older, gets support, goes into therapy, etc. If he has additional struggles, t will stack up & affect each other, making it harder to live with & recover from. You’ve already done so much damage to that boy, the least you can do is put some money where its needed.
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And please, for the love of God, try & be an adult human being & not a selfish, immature, “meant to raise” person. Do your research first, look, & if you're in crisis, seek help... not your own opinions & anger. You shouldn’t have to worry that your opinion is more important than that baby, who will suffer, or that you’re somehow “less worthy” of his needs than you are for yours. A child's life starts young, before he's even out of diapers... do yours as well.
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