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How do I get an abusive 20-year-old son out of the house? He has no job, is verbally abusive, and has gotten to be physical by pushing and shoving me. He refuses to leave.
Teenangers can be rought especially one that just entered into adulthood. That being said you know your relationship with your son much better than I do and it looks like you have already made a decision. Having additional family members that know the two of you and are able to weigh in on the situation might be a good idea. If the situation is so bad that he is involved in drugs, criminal activity, jail or prision, not getting a job, abusive, having kids and not paying child support,and an overall low life you may need to do what you need to do. its very easy. you just get an eviction notice to remove him from your property and stop talking. Thats it.
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But this job must be done for a good cause, and then some. Do the job, not the job. Because, just to wrap it all up... Your job may take up most of your day, or it may be short. But it must be done, because it is your family. The very last thing is that the abuse is just a show. It is NOT an opportunity for the abuser to “be” their abused partner. It is a call to action. Your job does NOT include “just say no.” (And by the way, Now is no.) Your job DOES involve saying no. It is a way to control and limit what the abuser can say and do. But, if they say “no” often enough, you may need to say no. But, if you are a “victim,” and you have no interest in any kind of change, you can.